What Motivates You?

I was never a heavy girl. From age 4 to 18 I danced ballet and I enjoyed cheerleading through most of college (ok, didn't enjoy the cheerleading as much as the perks of traveling with the football team). My twenties brought on the pounds and in my thirties they just packed on. Funny though, I never "saw" myself as fat until I saw pictures and thought to myself "who the hell is that?" Then I got to the plus sizes and swore I would never buy bigger than a size 20. I didn't. I just didn't buy any clothes at all.

Then the perfect storm hit. I came across Laura's blog. I had met her once at a clinic in MD and was utterly impressed at the transformation that she had undergone. She didn't know it but when I saw her photos and read her story I had some kind of awakening. I COULD DO THIS TOO! I joined WW and a gym and got to work. At the same time, the very day I started WW, my sister had gastric bypass surgery and I was determined not to be the fat sister.

My weight loss has been S-L-O-W. In the last 14 months, I've averaged about .7 per week. I've followed the WW program but I also have not entirely deprived myself. Traveling for dog trials and clinics has been challenging but I'm still in the negative column so I guess I did something right.

Right now what motivates me is a combination of emotions. I finally like what I've been seeing on the scale and I can now recognize the changes in my body and I want more (I need to lose another 40 pounds). It's actually fun to shop and the first time I walked into a regular (no plus sizes) store and bought something I practically cried. I'm convinced that the nice girls at Ann Taylor think I'm crazy.

The second emotion is shear and honest fear. I'm afraid of gaining weight back. Through this whole process I have been very open with people on how much I've lost. If someone will listen, I will tell them down to the ounce where I am with my weight loss - doesn't matter if you're a coworker or the lady at the deli counter. To me, it's another person who knows my deep dark secret and I will have to be accountable to them if I gain back weight. I just hope they don't think I'm bragging or fishing for compliments.

So that's where it all started for me. It's surprising how hard it has been. Between my 3-5 days a week at the gym and WW over the last 14 months, technically I should have the body of a supermodel. But all in due time I guess... Those Sports Illustrated girls better watch their backs.

Double Yum

Channing Tatum. Yum. DOUBLE Yum. Double Yum Gum. Today I went with Harriet* to see Channing Tatum's new movie - "Dear John". The movie rocked. OK, who am I kidding - the opportunity to see him with no shirt on is excuse enough. The movie doesn't even have to rock. That's how pathetic I am. For Reals. Give me rock hard abs and no shirt and next thing I know I'm elbow deep in movie theater popcorn.

What does this have to do with being a Fat Girlz? Uh... well... the lust overcame me and I bolted down a candy bar (OK, more than one) along with the kid's size popcorn with butter (OK, synthetic God only knows what that tastes like butter). Oh yeah, and it gets better!

I followed that feeding frenzy up with a piece of chicken pie from the Church dinner, and washed all of that down with a brownie. And a piece of lemon pound cake. Did I mention feeding frenzy? Besides... it was a small piece of pound cake. Does that count for slightly less damage? I think so.

However, true to myself and accountability/mindfulness I came home accounted for every bite I took. Dang. Buh-bye flexies. I have four left, plus 10 APs that have to get me through to next Tuesday. I guess I'd best get off of my behind and work up some extra APs.

Darn you Channing Tatum. Why do you have to be so hot? I'll bet you didn't get abs like that by having feeding frenzies. 'sallright though. You can just keep being hot. I can take the heat... if I have popcorn to wash it down with.

* name changed to protect the innocent

~ photo retrieved from www.fanpix.net

Tuesday's Trials and Tribulations

FG#1 checking in. I lost .8 this week, which truly shocked me. Total now is 16.4 lbs down. I lost 3.2 last week with that stomach virus, and fully expected a gain this week. When I weighed last week I'd not eaten in three days (three!) so I fully expected to put some of that back on. To my surprise I not only didn't put it back on but lost past that. I was on the phone with Julie a little while ago and she commented that I ought to not complain about a loss. While that's true to a degree, there is a danger in losing too quickly.

Last time around I had to eat approx. 48 dailies to maintain my goal weight. Yes, 48. Plus flexies. Plus APs. I'm almost loathe to even mention that, because if you do the math you'll realize I have to consume a HUGE quantity of BAD stuff on a regular basis to gain. Right? Well, there it is the truth in all of its ugliness. I suspect that after I turn 35 I can kiss some of that metabolism goodbye, so I'm prepared for that. I've only got five months before D-Day then, so I'd better get as much good mileage out of this metabolism as I can, right? So I'm rolling this around and I think I'll drop into the next lb bracket next week. I think I'm going to just not adjust my daily pts target to try to counteract this fast loss thing. Wouldn't it rock if I could get to goal without losing any more pts along the way? I think so.

FG#2 and FG#3 are away from their computers for a while today, so we're all just waiting patiently. :)

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FG#2 here, finally back from my marathon trip to Cary! I lost just 0.6 pounds this week, but that finally puts me having lost all that I gained a couple of weeks ago, plus a fraction, so still headed in the right direction. My total loss so far is 5.4 pounds. I'm happy with that. I'm actually just 11.6 pounds from my original WW goal. I might want to try to go 5 pounds further than that, but it really depends on how difficult it is to get to the first goal. Once there, I'll worry about whether I want to go further.

I am pleased that I am able to do this with a more free-form means of eating (meaning not keeping close track of points but just trying to be aware of what I'm putting in my mouth--and how much). I've been experimenting some with how much I can eat and still lose. I've found that I can have little splurges and it won't cost me a whole lot weightwise, and then I'm not feeling deprived either. For my lifestyle and the way my brain works, I think doing it this way will result in a much better long-lasting lifestyle change. Now please don't make me eat my words!

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FG3, up about a pound and half for no good reason. I was actually down 1.5 pounds earlier in the week. I think a salty weekend is making me pay for the moment (even though i got tons of APs over the weekend) and expect to be down again pretty soon. I hit my lowest weight since we started blogging during the week, so that's good. It's always easier to get back once you break the ice, sort of.

What's for Dinner?

I'm bored. Being unemployed sucks, I'm out of Netflix DVDs, it's raining again, and I'm wholly uninspired foodwise today. I absolutely loved the chicken noodle soup (uh, to the tune of eating it for lunch and dinner for two days straight), but a girl cannot live on CNS alone. I need to do something for dinner, and I can't seem to come up with anything fun or different. I'll probably trek over to the grocery store today, so I'm open for suggestions.

As a side note - I ate a couple of truffles (homemade by the groom's father) at the baby shower I attended on Saturday. Now all I can think of is chocolate. I'm telling you, it is the ONLY thing I want. For reals. Get in my belly.

So. What's for dinner? I don't care what it is - comment, or ETA, but puhhhhlease give Laura some ideas.

ETA: #3 here --
I'm thinking quesadillas at my house but it depends on whether or not i get to FINALLY go get my new dog picked up.

I'm feeling a little discouraged at WW right now but staying the course. The weight pattern is just so different this time around. I much preferred the constant small loss over this constant creep up with a big drop every once in a while. I worked my behind off all weekend but am up almost 2 pounds today anyway, sheesh. I expected to be up yesterday, after splurging on points some saturday, but not today.

ETA: FG#2 here: Since Robin mentioned quesadillas, I won't be able to get them off my mind now. Come to think of it, I think I have a couple of chicken-black bean quesadillas in the freezer. Laura, that's a good recipe out of that WW magazine, so you might want to try it. My favorite so far is the chicken sausage apple recipe, but it is a little pricier. I could eat it practically every day! Of course if you decide to get truly wild, there's always LaBamba, and I could have my arm twisted, lol!

And Robin, I hear you on the loss thing. For the first time ever when doing weight loss, I'm weighing every day and I can see why it's not recommended. For example, I would love for this morning to have been weigh-in day. I really fluctuate A LOT from day to day and since this morning was a "down" morning, it's entirely possible that weigh in won't be so great. Over the past week the difference between high and low weights has been two pounds, with the highest day being the day after weigh in and the lowest a couple of days ago. And actually the scale registered a pound difference between yesterday and today. That could just drive a person crazy! And unfortunately I don't think you can ever rely on splurge one day = gain the very next day. Sometimes it takes a couple of days to catch up.

Today I'm struggling with wanting to put anything and everything in my mouth. I'm sure it's the combination of crappy weather and the depressing situation of being without a job, like, forever. On the sunny days at least I seem to be more willing to get up and move and food doesn't take center stage--at least not as much!

Heck, what's for lunch?

Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup

My Mom's Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup:

1 chicken thigh quarter (skin on, bone in)
8 oz (1/2 bag) egg noodles
1 can cream of chicken soup
8 to 10 cups water (estimated)

Fill up a large stock pot (8 quart) with water, and add a chicken quarter. Boil the chicken for a couple of hours, and then remove it from the pot. Add noodles and extra water to bring the pot to about 2/3 full (if needed). As the noodles are boiling skin the chicken, and then pull it off of the bone and into bite sized pieces. As the noodles finish add the chicken back in the pot and reheat through. Add the can of cream of chicken soup, and any water needed to make it as soupy as you like it. Keep in mind I do most of this by eyeballing it (water-wise) so you'll just have to play around with the water.

I got approximately nine 1-1/2 cup servings, at about 3 pts per cup. If you get 8 servings it's more like 4 pts/serving. A cup and a half serving is very ample.

Cost analysis:

Chicken - $3.00 per 10 lb bag at $0.27 per quarter. It was on mgr's special
Egg Noodles - $1.00 per 12 oz bag, I used 8 oz so approximately $0.64
Cream of Chicken soup - $0.49 per can
Water - negligible

Total pot of soup: $1.40
Per serving: $0.16

Admittedly this isn't a very exciting bowl of soup, but oh so yum when it's cold, rainy, and you're needing some comfort. Sometimes I like my chicken noodle soup more clear, and with onions, celery and carrots, but then sometimes I like the simplicity of this one. This is one of those that you just... do. It doesn't take measuring or anything, you just throw stuff in the pot and cook. Try it!

It's That Time Again

Since I was accused of shirking last week for being MIA, I'll start us off on this weigh-in day. The news for me is not great but could be worse, so I'm okay with it.

I am down one 1.2 pounds from last week, but if you remember, I actually gained 1.6 at the last weigh in, so although I lost, I'm still at a net gain over the two weeks of 0.4 pounds. That means I'm still down 4.8 pounds overall, but clearly I need to up the ante, and for me that pretty much means upping the exercise. I guess being unemployed has really affected my motivation in other areas, including exercise. I hereby resolve to truly start remedying that this week.

FGs #1 & 3?
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FG3 here - down 3.4 pounds, so total loss now is 4.9 pounds. About time the scale did some moving. I'd like to see faster loss than i am, but i guess i'm the tortoise this time around. And after 2 weeks of gaining, i'm glad to finally see the drop.

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FG#1 - down 3.2 lbs, down a total of 15.6. Yikes! I came down with the stomach flu this past weekend, and am still trying to get back to normal, so this is NOT a normal weigh in. I would have expected to have mostly maintained, or maybe lost .4 or something. But... enter the plucus plucus. That danged relapse of the papsi louse will get you every time. Still, I expect to probably have a gain next week to make up for it. I've not tracked in three days, but then I've not eaten enough to bother tracking! Here's to a much better week coming up!

To Weigh, or not to Weigh...

Not a bad week for this FG#1, all things considered. So anyway, I lost 2.4 this week, totalling me up to 12.4. We've now been on plan just a day or two shy of a month, and I feel like I'm cranking right along. I feel strong and steady, but I feel like I'm probably losing too fast. However, this week not only did I eat all of my flexies and all of my AP's, but I went over by something like 22 pts for the week. I may bump it up a hair more next week, but I'm assuming most of this consistent dropping has to do with stress. Well, that and the fact that I'm actually sleeping at night.

I just edited because I was going to give FG#2 and #3 a get out of jail free card, but changed my mind. I hope you two will do this for me too - part of accountability is being accountable whether you're losing OR gaining.

SO, FG #2 and FG# 3???
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Fine, be that way! FG#3 here, up 1.5 pounds for the week, so still only down 2.5 pounds since we started. Considering i was on the road and eating at restaurants for 3 days, that's not too bad really. I had a little sweet stuff that i probably shouldn't have but meals weren't that bad. I've been having some trouble tweaking the plan. I started out good but even though i stayed firmly on plan, gained a little the second and third week. FG2 suggested i eat more, that i should be using all of my APs and flexpoints. I doubt she meant to go over as much as i did this past weekend though! So, back on plan, tracking everything and we'll see. I still think things will improve once the weather does and i can get out more.

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FG#2 here. Sorry to be MIA today, but was making the rounds of a couple of vets and was gone all day.

FGs 1 & 3 already know this, but I gained 1.5 pounds last week. I knew it was coming because I just wouldn't stop putting food in my face. I don't have guilt feelings or anything because as I said, I knew what I was doing and what the consequences would be (you know, bad weather, bake a batch of cookies, but don't eat them all you fool!). So I guess I had my wild week, and now have to rein myself back in. As FG#3 noted, this would be much easier to do if the weather would cooperate, but honestly I know I tend to stuff myself when I'm sitting around in bad weather and instead of doing that very thing, I should have made better choices, but chose not to, and so the scale tells the tale.

Here's hoping for better control this week and a loss at next weigh in.