Steady as She Goes

Well, I'm down 1.6 this week, for a total of 13.2 pounds lost. I really expected a very small loss, maintain, or slight gain this week after the whopper loss last week. However, this was a very respectable loss, and I'm OK with it. I spent this past weekend at a friend's house, and wasn't overly obsessed with what I ate - but I did, however, keep an eye on myself and tried to be relatively mindful in general. It was easy, too, because she had lots of great healthy choices for us to eat! I have had a small victory this week. Last weekend we went to a lovely little french bakery in downtown Charlotte. I was *starving* while we were in there, but fortunately we took our goods to go. Yesterday I looked in my box and I had two items left. I got out a knife, and cut about 1/4 of one item, and about 1/6 of the other, and that was all I ate. I wanted to taste them, but I really didn't want to gorge myself on them. One of them I found to be... not worth the calories for me. I hate to waste money but I think I may toss it. The other I believe I will cut into five more small pieces, and eat it that way - unless I get tired of it, and then I'll toss it. It's hard to do that - overcome the urge to cram it all in because it is there. I have been pleasantly surprised that in this particular case I've not felt like cramming it down the hatch. That is a pretty huge victory. I have a lot of activity lined up for this coming weekend, and I cannot wait! It feels really good to be active again.

Gaining Ground (and Losing Weight)

This week's weigh-in clocked 3.8 lbs DOWN, for a total of 11.8 pounds lost. I try to keep myself from losing that much in a week, but sometimes it just happens... particularly with all of the activity I did last week.

I don't really look like I've lost much of anything yet, but my britches are looser, and I feel SO much better. It is amazing how much better JUST ten pounds off has made me feel.

I'm still totally digging the Zumba. I even got a DVD so that I could do it at home when I feel like it. They've started a class literally a mile away from my house, and at a time I can make it, so I'm stoked about that! I've been driving about 15 miles each way to get to class (there are closer ones, but I can't get there in time after work).

So I'm stoked to be making progress, and above all feeling so much better.

By the skin of my teeth!

This week's weigh in was down .2 from last week. About thirty minutes later I got back on the scale and I was down another 1.5 lbs. This morning I was down a full 2 lbs. So who knows, but I recorded the .2. I think sometimes my scale has a bugaboo. Knowing this I always vow to take the first weight.

I remember standing on the scales at the WW meetings and asking if I could have a do-over. Hah!

I am totally digging the changes in the new WW plan. Very nice!!

I also have one small victory. A girlfriend and I stopped to get lunch today, and I got a salad. Came back, ate it, and then found the restaurant's nutrition info. I held the cheese and only ate about 2/3 of my dressing serving, and still it racked up a full 15 points. I almost had a coronary, before I stopped and decided that while I might say "hold the little crispy fried oniony thingies" next time, and forego the texas toast, it wasn't a huge deal in the big grand scheme of things.

That I can do that - both analyze but not freak out (or fall off the wagon) is a big thing, particularly in light of how I feel emotionally at the moment. I hope this is a sign of good things to come!

Epiphanies

I certainly cannot take credit for any of these thoughts - they're not original. I didn't come up with them... but they finally sunk in for me last week (or week before... I dunno I lose track). I've mentioned how I want to change the way I think and the way I view food and such, and I've been making some moves in that direction for a while now. But just lately two thoughts have sunk in - and they have made a slight shift in perception happen for me.

Thought #1: What if I just think about getting fit and healthy?

What if I just think about doing things to be fit? So to answer that I have been focusing on walking the dogs and going to Zumba - just generally moving more. I've made a specific effort to get more active, and what is the result? I feel better, I'm losing well, and I can eat more. Not only that, but the dogs are more fit and healthy as well. I feel like it is a winning situation for all of us.

But what if I also just think about eating to fuel the getting fit, and being healthy part? My body needs fuel for this Zumba business, and it needs fuel to run the everyday processes, and fuel to walk and work the dogs. So I'm making choices that will enable the bod to do it's new jobs.

The result? I'm thinking far less about "what can I eat" and "what can I not have" because I'm thinking more about "what do I need to put into the engine" and "Wow, I guess I don't need to constantly obsess over how I can eat what I would like to because there are more points available to me than I could possibly eat". But strangely, once I have gotten my workouts in, and once I have gotten in the proper fuels I find myself so satisfied that I'm not so worried about the points values - other than to make sure I'm eating ENOUGH. I'm mindful, don't get me wrong, but making an interesting shift away from militant.

Thought #2: Where I am today is just another point on the journey.

I was so riddled with guilt and fear that I'd gained back quite a bit of weight that I was allowing that fear and guilt to paralyze me. Then I heard or read somewhere that it's all just different points on the same journey. So it wasn't like I took a journey, lost weight, and then it was over... or gained weight and it was over, or that I sucked because my journey was over and I had failed. I'm still on the journey - and the point that I'm at doesn't make me suck, it just is another point on my journey to success. Somehow this thought is so freeing. It is liberating! This is all part of my process.

Yay for Epiphanies!

Tuesday Rolls On

I missed last week's blog post due to crazy busy life, but I did not miss last week's weigh in!

Last Week's Loss: 1.4 lbs
This Week's Loss: 3.4 lbs

Total loss so far: 7.8 lbs

This more or less fits my typical pattern. Next week I most likely will only have a small loss, a maintain, or a slight gain. We shall see! A lot of things about my mindset have changed - I've read/heard some things that have changed my outlook, and so much for the better. Later today or later this week I'll post about that, but I wanted to get back on track with the weigh-ins this morning.