Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Rebound Struggle

So I've been talking to myself about how I know it's water weight (or food weight, or whatever) and that there's no way I gained (and I was off by a digit) two pounds of fat over the course of the week... particularly not since I did Zumba five days!!! Normally I would have expected to have dumped the water weight by this morning, but I've only dumped about .6 of it - leaving me still up .4 from the last weigh in.

I'm not sure why, exactly, but I'm feeling frustrated over it. Not "quit" frustrated, but certainly "eat a bunch of Easter candy" frustrated.

The Easter Bunny came to see me on Sunday. It brought many lots of bunches of candy. I ate a few pieces (truly, really, genuinely only a few) and brought the rest to work. Now it's sitting here on the edge of my desk and it's calling my name. I think it's calling my name harder because of the frustration.

In my head it goes, "Oh, well, I'm up this week anyway, why not?". It's not even that I'm thinking that I might want a few pieces more... it's a craving for an all out down and dirty binge.

I don't feel very good this week - emotionally or physically. I think this is a contributing factor. It's been a while since I've felt like I was out of control. I'm not ACTING out of control, but I feel like it. I feel like at this exact moment one step in the wrong direction would send me careening down a path that I don't want to be on.

So I guess this is a good moment to draw on those militant reserves. I've been cruising along sort of giving myself some leeway, but I think this is a moment for staying the course carefully... at least until this passes.

4 comments:

Jean said...

With Zumba five days in the week, is it possible your weight gain is the result of more muscle? Muscle weighs more than fat, remember! Are your pants telling you that you gained weight? If not, then the number of pounds isn't reflecting fat but muscle - and that's good!
And if the pants are tighter, then just remember that one step backwards doesn't mean failure. Stay the course, woman, you can do it!
(By the way, I swear all bathroom scales like to play tricks on your mind. I can get on my scales twice twenty minutes apart and get two different weights. :) )

Laura Carson said...

You know, it could be Jean! Thank you for the voice of reason!! My britches are actually looser, so I just cannot fathom that I've gained fat.

I think this is my do or die point. I always have one of these - it is where I either push on and succeed, or give in and fail.

I'm not in it for the failing. :)

Scales are da debil.

Paula said...

If you're not feeling well physically or emotionally, I truly believe that will show on the scale. I KNOW you're gonna kick it next week, girl. I just know it.

Laura Carson said...

No doubt on the kicking it next week, Master-P! I got on the scale this morning, and I'm down 2.8 lbs, and something like .6 lbs down from last week prior to the water weight, or whatever it was.

Sometimes I just don't get the fluctuating thing, though it usually works itself out I think.